I haven’t worked a Friday in months. With vacations, illness, flex schedules, holidays, etc. It has literally been months since I’ve been in my office on a Friday. But this week I worked all five days, including Friday.
Arriving at home I was tired. I’ve spent the last few weeks preparing for a written fencing instructor’s exam. I needed to keep studying. I needed to review. But I didn’t have the energy. I didn’t feel like taking care of my family duties. I didn’t feel like doing anything much.
My wife suggested I play the guitar until dinner. So I plugged into my amp. I played. I ran through some stuff I know. I played chords. I played some scales. I messed around. I still felt totally spent. So I plugged in my pedal board. I tried playing with my Holy Grail Reverb back in the signal chain. I played with delay. I played with fuzz. I played with distortion. I played with overdrive. I played with natural tube driven tone. And I still felt out of it.
I don’t know if it was the lack of guitar playing these last few weeks/months. I don’t know if it was the stress and guilt of not studying fencing stuff or performing family oriented responsibilities. I don’t know if it was just exhaustion from actually having to work Friday. All I know is that it didn’t change anything and I eventually stopped playing.
Anyone ever just feel like they are in a funk (not the cool kind of funk)? What do you do to get out of it? How often is it self-generated? Is the key other people’s kindness? Is it something you have to figure out alone? Is it just a sign of taking on too many things? Does it just have to be waded through (buck up little camper)? Or do you need a drill sergeant to force you to get through it?
Life isn’t bad. I’m not depressed. I was just surprised that playing the guitar didn’t rejuvenate me.
P.S. I will say that I actually fenced this (Sat) morning. I didn’t just coach and critique and study, I actually fenced competitively with someone who is very good. I came home feeling physically tired, but rejuvenated. Interesting.